In a major step forward for the LGBTQ movement, SF Pride officials have announced they will, in fact, allow gays to participate in the June 2020 parade - even if they happen to be police officers from Alameda County. Said organizers, "See - there's so many of us now it's not like we need everyone on Market. We don't have to be so inclusive. With this surplus of gays, comes a caste system - with police officers as "the untouchables." We don't understand why a law enforcement officer would enforce a law, like evicting trespassers from private property, because if there's one thing we believe at SF Pride: your property ain't private in June."
SF voters have preemptively ended their dream of having a single honest city official, and opted to screen each one by asking "In what way are you corrupt?" in all standard candidate questionairres. Answers will be scored from 1 to 10, with 1 being a basic campaign finance violation of $10k or less and 10 being setting up a non-profit to launder funds to portly city officials who like to eat. The scale is adjustable - and can go to 100 at least - depending on future FBI complaints, next week's papers and/or Medium.com blog posts.
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