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White Ladies Celebrating Diwali in the Sunset Decry Lack of Authenticity in 2020 Candidates

"We just don't connect with any of the candidates on meaningful level," said Hudson Farnsworth before leading her weekly healing Hindu prayer circle for tech executives. "It's like they're all posing as other people."

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Coronavirus Prompts SF Anti-Vaxers to Celebrate Diversity of Communicable Diseases

Fresh off getting the SF Science March canceled due to their presence, SF Ani-Vaxers are hosting a get together in the Richmond on Friday to celebrate the arrival of the coronavirus, the latest disease for which they will not inoculate themselves. Said the head of the Richmond chapter of "Flat Earthing & Head Sanding" -"We want to remind the world of the diversity of diseases we can spread & include as many oddly clad children as possible in our campaign to bring back the 14th century. We don't want to get typecast. This isn't just about measles."