SF Post

Upset at the high cost of housing in SF, and the amount paid for tuition already, Dads4Dorms cordoned off a 5 square block area of the Tenderloin today and moved their kids into several SROs. One dad told us, "Seriously, people. A SRO is a dorm! We can all see it - it's filthy, there's a shared bath and keys from the 19th century. This isn't a stretch."

On the heels of SF's big game - in Santa Clara - with the Green Bay Packers, SF placed a bet that if the SF team wins, Santa Clara would not actually want to look like SF. As one resident told us, "No. We live outside the City for a reason ."

The BOS voted today to support all forms of speech - in the era of Trump - unless that speech is at their expense. Hailing the measure called the "Unless It Offends Me" Ordinance, it's considered a first of its kind law that protects the feelings of political officials.

In a surprising twist, President Trump endorsed a local city official Sunday morning:  DA Chesea Boudin. Calling him "more than I could hope for" Trump tweeted that "Pelosi could convict me, but Cliche Chesea WOULDN'T convict me!! Sad!!" Elaborating, he noted Boudin's qualifications, "he's a 1 stop shop of everything I need to run against - gap-toothed, Kombucha-drinking, renter and dad was in some pathetic terrorist group. He'd free Capone from ALCATRAZ!"

In a major step forward for the LGBTQ movement, SF Pride officials have announced they will, in fact, allow gays to participate in the June 2020 parade - even if they happen to be police officers from Alameda County. Said organizers, "See - there's so many of us now it's not like we need everyone on Market. We don't have  to be so inclusive. With this surplus of gays, comes a caste system - with police officers as "the untouchables." We don't understand why a law enforcement officer would enforce a law, like evicting trespassers from private property, because if there's one thing we believe at SF Pride: your property ain't private in June."

The SF Board of Supervisors announced today it would create a reparations fund, which was well received by San Francisco's last African American. Previously 13% of the population,  African Americans have largely fled the high cost of living for greener pastures. James Spear, the beneficiary, was positive, telling us "I'm glad. I may even have a get together with friends & family - it's next week in Oakland."

"Biden just isn't Bernie," said the man who declined to give his name due to ongoing bill collecting issues. "I mean, I was like a personal trainer with as many as 3 clients a year - specializing in foam rolling - and because of the establishment I switched to healing and plants and Facebook posts about my plants and I'm getting priced out. I can't believe it."